When it comes


Will I be awake
When it comes

Will I be receptive
When it comes

Will it be too late
If it comes

Years of my life have past and I’ve never known it

A fluttering heart, a short breath, butterflies in my stomach

Attraction, chemistry

But only fleeting and never acted upon.

I have had one chance at its arrival
Naive and scared, I pursued it
And failed

So I ran from the possibility
Not sure of the signals and feelings of the one involved
I ran

Never knowing passion
Never knowing lust

No orgasmic trips into pleasure
And I have tried many times.

More failure.

What am I missing?
What am I doing wrong?
Is it ALL me?

Time is growing shorter and I am still waiting.

Am I foolish?
Am I still naive at almost 50?

Part of me wants to close the doors
Lock the knees and give up
I’ve been listening to this voice
I think it’s true.

I missed it
When it came
And I have never cum.

DIH 08/5/2015


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