Between the Meds


What step comes next, between the meds
I awake, I take a pill
I eat, I take more pills

Now I have to fill the time, between the meds
Or rather pills

Waiting.
Waiting for the moment when the medications ‘click’
And I can function
Or at least cope.

Its noon,
Time for more pills.
Drink lots of water this time, to help them go down
Can’t dehydrate, makes things worse

Sip, sip, glug
no more pills

Between the meds
Filling time with thought and action
Ideas and people

Oh yeah, and doctor’s appointments

therapy, pdoc
That’s psychiatrist for short, if you don’t know

I’ve tried it the other way

You feel your mind torn from itself
Not in a spiritual way, but rather a bloody crash into madness

So much confusion, so much suffering and inner screams.

I can never go back to that, that’s not filling time
That’s not living

It’s a horror movie looped in time-lapse

It may seem like I’m just filling time and not living it
But without the pills,
I wouldn’t even have this option.

DIH

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