What step comes next, between the meds
I awake, I take a pill
I eat, I take more pills
Now I have to fill the time, between the meds
Or rather pills
Waiting for the moment when the medications ‘click’
And I can function
Or at least cope.
Time for more pills.
Drink lots of water this time, to help them go down
Can’t dehydrate, makes things worse
Sip, sip, glug
no more pills
Between the meds
Filling time with thought and action
Ideas and people
Oh yeah, and doctor’s appointments
That’s psychiatrist for short, if you don’t know
I’ve tried it the other way
You feel your mind torn from itself
Not in a spiritual way, but rather a bloody crash into madness
So much confusion, so much suffering and inner screams.
I can never go back to that, that’s not filling time
That’s not living
It’s a horror movie looped in time-lapse
It may seem like I’m just filling time and not living it
But without the pills,
I wouldn’t even have this option.