Trying to figure it out.

Trying to figure it out

Something to find to make things worth the work

Something to have, to believe to extend my faith

Nothing in particular, nothing concrete

Just something…

Looking for reasons to exist exhausts my mind

Am I lying to myself?

Am I just a coward trying to dodge the eventual bullet

Or am I just afraid of living, loving and loneliness.

And so it continues, as I go into another day

Another week, another year.

Distractions from the emptiness I live and I feel

More pain, more distance, more fear

But I’m here.

At least for another year.


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